The answer is …. Yes. Most relationships are unhappy … sometimes.
From time to time we’re all going to be unhappy in our relationship. It’s normal. But if this feeling of unhappiness increases in duration and frequency, you should explore what’s happening and where things are heading. Many people, at some point in their relationship, may start to feel less like spending time with their partner, having physical closeness, or talking with their partner. They might even start thinking about other people. Unhappiness can cause you and your partner to become more distant until you find that you are leading separate lives.
Statistics on this question of relationship happiness are ambiguous. Some studies show high levels of unhappiness, some show low levels. It’s hard to measure, especially as it fluctuates during the course of the relationship, often from week to week. Are most people unhappy at work? Yes - sometimes. If you’re unhappy more often than not at work, you’d probably look for another job. Same with a relationship. You need to do some reflection on what’s causing your unhappiness, see if you can resolve this, or if it’s time to move on. But know that everyone is unhappy sometimes. Happiness is not a perpetual state of being. It comes and goes.
It’s also important that we don’t confuse being unhappy in our relationship, with being dissatisfied with our life. These are two different things with the cause of our discontent coming from different sources. Dissatisfaction with your life can be rooted in many things external to the relationship. These things could stem from our past experiences, how we see the world, or how we feel about ourselves. Often our perception of self can cast a shadow over many things in life including our relationship. (Click here to learn more about addressing these issues.)
