When we’re experiencing loneliness, we may find ourselves trapped in constant and alarming rumination. This is that pattern of repetitive and negative thinking that keeps us awake at night. We may dwell on our perceived social failures and the reasons for our isolation. We may be constantly worrying that this loneliness will be never ending. This rumination can intensify feelings of despair and hopelessness. And of course, dwelling constantly on one’s loneliness can make it difficult to concentrate and it becomes a real struggle to find solutions. We’re unable to take action to address our loneliness, so we just become trapped in a continuing cycle.
When lonely, our rumination can amplify our negative emotions, making us feel even more isolated and disconnected from others. We can begin to believe that something is wrong with us, further deepening our sense of inadequacy and unworthiness. Sadly this kind of rumination tends to keep us trapped in our own thoughts, making it difficult to engage in social interactions if they do occur.
Rumination usually involves a myriad of self-critical thoughts. This self-criticism can make it close to impossible to find any self-compassion. Being kind to oneself is an important element in overcoming loneliness. This means the more rumination occurs, the further we get from connection. And of course, if we’re ruminating all night, we’re not sleeping which further exacerbates any other mental health challenges.
