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What is Loneliness?

Beverley Stewart • October 29, 2023

What Is Loneliness?

Loneliness is a complex and deeply personal experience that often goes unseen by the outside world. It's a silent struggle that many endure, but few truly understand. It can feel unrelenting and overwhelming. It impacts our understanding of who we are, and our sense worthiness to be in this world. As Mother Teresa said “The most terrible poverty is loneliness and the feeling of being unloved.” Here we’ll be shedding light on the emotions and challenges associated with loneliness. Sadly, loneliness will often go unnoticed by others, but it’s increasingly experienced by many of us in the world today.



Facts About Loneliness


The Psychological Definition


The psychological definition of loneliness refers to a complex and distressing emotional state characterized by an individual's perception of social isolation and a lack of meaningful social or emotional connections with others. It is a subjective feeling of being alone, even when surrounded by others. Loneliness is not solely about physical isolation but rather about a sense of disconnection and emotional emptiness. From a psychological perspective, it can involve feelings of sadness, depression, anxiety, and a longing for meaningful social connections. Addressing loneliness often involves exploring its underlying causes, its impact on mental and emotional well-being, and developing strategies to alleviate and manage these feelings.


Research on Loneliness


In 2018 the Australian Red Cross conducted a comprehensive study on loneliness in Australia. According to their report, more than 1 in 4 Australians reported feeling lonely at least three days a week. The report also highlighted that young adults (18-25 years old) and elderly people (75 years and older) were more likely to experience severe loneliness.


The COVID-19 pandemic had a significant impact on loneliness, with lockdowns and social distancing measures contributing to increased feelings of isolation. Many Australians reported a decline in their mental well-being and an increase in loneliness during this period.  For some, this loneliness has continued.


Loneliness is not evenly distributed across the country. There can be regional variations, with people in rural and remote areas sometimes reporting higher levels of loneliness due to geographic isolation. Historically, suicide rates have been higher in rural and remote regions compared to urban areas of Australia, and loneliness may be a contributing factor in this.


Loneliness is often linked to mental health issues, and Australia has seen a growing awareness of the mental health challenges associated with loneliness. It’s encouraging to see many organizations and initiatives have been addressing these issues and promoting mental well-being by addressing the loneliness factor.


The Emotional Challenges of Loneliness


The Isolation of Loneliness


Loneliness can feel like a shadow that never leaves your side. It's not just the physical absence of others; it's an intense emotional void. You can be in a room full of people and still feel isolated, as if there's an impenetrable barrier between you and the rest of the world.


The Emotional Weight


The emotional weight of loneliness is relentless. It's the feeling of unrelenting sadness, the constant ache in your heart, and the sense of emptiness that no amount of distraction can fill. Loneliness can be all-consuming, overshadowing everything else in your life. It can weigh down your body and your spirit.


The Longing for Connection


Perhaps the most challenging aspect of loneliness is the intense longing for connection. It's the desire to be understood, to have someone truly listen, and to share your thoughts and feelings with another human being. Loneliness makes you yearn for the warmth of companionship like a desert longs for rain.  It becomes a hunger that you feel will never be filled. 


Self-Doubt and Negative Thoughts


Loneliness can lead to self-doubt and an onslaught of negative thoughts. You may question your self-worth, wondering why others seem to connect effortlessly while you struggle. It's a vicious cycle of self-criticism that feeds into your loneliness, and expands it.


The Fear of Rejection


The fear of rejection often accompanies loneliness. You’ll hesitate in reaching out to others because you worry they won't reciprocate. You're afraid of putting yourself out there, only to be met with indifference or worse, rejection.


The Isolation and Depression Connection


Loneliness and depression often go hand in hand. The emotional isolation and negative self-talk of loneliness can contribute to the onset or exacerbation of depressive symptoms. It's a dark cycle that's difficult to break.


The Resilience of the Human Spirit


Despite the challenges, there's a resilience in the human spirit. Loneliness can be a catalyst for self-discovery. It's an opportunity to learn to be your own best company, to develop self-compassion, and to appreciate the moments of connection even more when they come.




In The End


Loneliness is a profound and often hidden struggle that can have a significant impact on one's mental and emotional well-being. It’s impact can feel overwhelming and it can be hard to see a brighter future. Yet, there is hope in understanding that you're not alone in your loneliness. With support, self-compassion, and a willingness to reach out, it's possible to navigate the shadows and find your way back to the light of connection and fulfillment.


To find out more about Loneliness Counselling click here, or go to Contact Page to make an enquiry. 

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