New Year - Time for Change?

Why Resolutions Don’t Work

Studies have shown that approximately 64% of us will give up on our resolutions before the end of January.  Part of the problem is that usually our New Year’s resolutions are quite general and lack specifics.  Many of us find these resolutions difficult to stick to over the long-term if we jump in full speed ahead with no plan for how to get there, or for contingencies. We can become very excited about making a promise to change, but we often lack the planning to achieve our objective, and we forget that there may be a great deal of work involved.  Resolutions also often require us to change our behaviour over a long period of time, and then maintain these changes indefinitely. Sometimes that’s a lot to ask of ourselves. 

We can also often get distracted by other goals that become our new priority, or maybe we fall victim to temptation and continue the old behaviour “just this once”.  When setbacks occur, we often decide we just can’t do it!  It becomes too difficult to get back on the horse after we’ve fallen off a few times.   Instead, we conclude it’s all too hard and we’ll try again next year.   

If you do decide to make a resolution or want to make some lasting changes in your life this year, keep the following factors in mind to give you a greater chance of success.

Do We Really Want To Make a Change?

The first thing we need to do is reflect on whether we really do want to make this change in our life, or, is it just a passing idea that we don’t truly value.  Ask yourself the following questions before committing to changing your life.

• Why do I want to make this change?  
• Is it in line with my values in life?  
• What will I gain by achieving this goal?  
• Is it worth the effort?  
• Is there another goal that means more to me?  
• What will happen if I don’t work towards this goal?
• How will I feel once I have achieved this?

These questions will help you to see if making a commitment to this goal is right for you.

Change is Uncomfortable

The next thing you need to know is that change is uncomfortable.  It can make you feel uneasy.  Often, it’s hard work, it’s inconvenient and it may bring up feelings of inadequacy or deprivation as you struggle to achieve your goal.  Change brings something new, and this newness always brings uncertainty. It makes us feel unsafe.  This is because our brains are wired to ensure we’re surrounded by things we understand and that feel familiar. Your brain wants safety, but change needs you to step away from this.  

We all know every day behaviours are not simple to change.  Our brains become wired to carry out routines and disruption can make us feel uneasy.  We may need to learn new skills or adapt our current habits into something new.  This is challenging. The point is that it’s not going to be easy, and you need to be prepared for discomfort.  Remember – life begins at the edge of your comfort zone!

Action Precedes Motivation

Do you ever tell yourself “I’ll do it when I get the motivation”? Maybe you sit around for months waiting for motivation to show up … but it never happens.  This is because motivation comes AFTER you take action. When you start to work towards something, you build momentum, and you feel that your goal is more achievable.  The more action you take, the more motivation you build as you see the fruits of your labour and realise – YES, I can do this!  Don’t wait for motivation – you need to make a start, and the motivation will follow. You’re simply not going to feel like doing it until you’ve made a start.

From Little Things, Big Things Grow

It’s very difficult sometimes to go from nothing to success.  A better way to achieve your goal is by making small incremental changes.  You will feel less overwhelmed by making smaller “do-able” changes which act as steppingstones to your end goal.  As you succeed in achieving these smaller goals or targets, you build motivation and your sense of self efficacy.  You become more aware of your capabilities, and you know that you can achieve your end goal.  With your confidence building, these little changes grow into the big thing you want to achieve.

Focus on Past Successes

Focusing on our past successes can help to build our confidence.  We’re reminded that evidence exists demonstrating that we have the capabilities needed to reach our goal.  This creates a positive mindset which is essential for tackling new challenges.  This mindset can be instrumental in approaching change with optimism and a belief that positive outcomes are possible.

Past successes also help us identify our unique strengths and positive attributes which will assist us on our new journey.  These strengths will aid us in developing effective strategies to achieve our desired changes.

Past successes also serve as a powerful source of motivation and inspiration.  Remembering and celebrating achievements can fuel our drive to overcome obstacles and pursue new goals, even in the face of difficulties.  We gain positive reinforcement when we acknowledge and appreciate our past efforts.  This leads us to maintain a positive self image and create a foundation for continued growth and change. 

Our past successes may also demonstrate our ability to overcome the obstacles and setbacks that may arise. Reflecting on past successes can remind us of our ability to persevere and bounce back from challenges – we see our inner resilience in the face of change.

There Are No Failures, Only Learning Experiences.

Take “failure” out of your vocabulary.  What you might perceive as a “failure” is actually something you should feel good about.  We learn more from these than we do from our successes.  They show us what doesn’t work, so we can adjust our next attempt.  We learn valuable lessons from all life experiences.  Unsuccessful attempts allow us to analyze the circumstances, actions, and decisions we made. so that we can get a clearer picture of where we need to make changes.  We are better equipped to navigate obstacles as we move forward towards our goal.

We also discover more about ourselves, along with gaining more understanding and empathy towards others who might be dealing with the similar challenges.  Unsuccessful attempts provide us with the necessary insight to make improvements and propel ourselves along.  These learning experiences help us develop a greater sense of empowerment and determination to move forward.