(2) Attitude Towards You Changes

If you find your partner has become critical of you, and you feel they seem to be trying to start arguments, they could be looking for an excuse to withdraw from the relationship.  

Often a cheating partner will try to rationalize their behaviour by blaming it on you.  So, they create conflict to prove to themselves that their cheating behaviour is justified.   If your partner is constantly being judgmental and finding fault with things that never use to bother them, this could be a sign that something is occurring. Always make sure you don’t stand for any emotionally abusive behaviour.  

(3) Dishonesty

A major red flag in a relationship is lying. This dishonesty can be about cheating, or possibly about other things in general. You might feel your partner is more secretive than usual, or they might appear nervous when you ask questions.  You might even feel that your partner’s friends seem anxious when your close by.  These could all be signals that your partner is deceiving you.  

(5) Changes in Physical Intimacy

Within a relationship, it’s common for fluctuations to occur in how often you have sex. If you find that the frequency has deteriorate to the point where you are engaging in very limited, or no physical intimacy, it could be that your partner is getting it somewhere else.  Same too if you find that you are still having sex, but your partner has introduced new techniques, improved some skills, or is suggesting some new activities.  

Increases in sexual activity can also occur if your partner is trying to conceal their infidelity. By having sex more often with you, they hope they will not be found out. Obviously, if you suddenly get an STD – it had to come from somewhere …..

(6) Lack of Emotional Intimacy

Emotional intimacy is the glue that keeps us together as a couple.  With the passage of time, our physical intimacy and even our frequency of communication can decrease, but our ability to be vulnerable with our partner should increase.  Our attachment to each other grows by trusting the other with all our secrets, hopes and the most private aspects of our selves that we hide from others.  An sign of a cheating partner therefor is a partner who closes off emotionally.  If they no longer allow themselves to be vulnerable with you – they could be hiding things from you.  

(7) Changes in Technology Use

Have you noticed an increase in incoming and outgoing text messages? Stepping out of the room to make phone calls?  Maybe more time late at night on the internet? Browser history is deleted?  Passwords changed? These signs could be innocent, but could also indicate they are communicating with someone they don’t want you to know about.

(8) No time available for you

Life gets in the way of us spending time with each other sometimes.  But if you’re finding your partner is absent a lot more often lately, and somehow the reasons don’t stack up – this might be a sign that there’s a problem.  Often working late, business trips away, more time at the gym, finding a new hobby (that doesn’t include you), and increasing time “with friends” might get alarm bells ringing. A myriad of excuses might be offered, but none seem to ring true.  If you question this consistent absence, your partner may be vague or dismissive, and you never really get any details. 

Cheating causes feelings of guilt.  To avoid these feelings, your partner may be avoiding you.  They may be doing their best to ensure they don’t have to answer difficult questions that they don’t have adequate answers for.  This may result in them not wanting to share their time with you.

(9) Unreachable

If you’re constantly unable to reach your partner by phone or text, they could be busy at work or driving.  But they may also be busy elsewhere. 

(10) Finances

Most relationships experience money issues at some stage.  This can be very stressful and place a strain on the relationship. But if things aren’t adding up (literally) it might to advisable to take a closer look at where the money is going. Even if you don’t suspect cheating, it’s always a responsible financial practice to check all the credit card charges. If there’s anything odd on the credit cards, or less in the bank accounts than you expected – perhaps questions need to be asked.  Cheating can be costly in many ways. Financially it takes a toll because your partner may be paying for additional dinners, wine, gifts and secluded hotel rooms.  Unexplained expenses can definitely be a sign of infidelity.

Also, if your partner no longer shows interest in saving for big ticket expenses like buying a home together, renovating the house, or a vacation together, this might be an indication that they are planning a future elsewhere. 

(11) Your partner accuses you of infidelity

Feelings of guilt can cause a partner to project their own behaviour onto others. Without any reason, your partner may accuse you of cheating.  Similarly, if you question or confront your partner about your suspicions that they are cheating, they may turn this around and question your potential cheating behaviour. If this is occurring, it may be a definite red flag.  Transferring onto you their own guilt and anxiety about being found out, is emotionally abusive. 

(12) Apathy

Has your partner been showing a lack of interest in things lately?  Maybe they seem indifferent about work, kids, hobbies, cooking, sport or other things they use to engage with.  Maybe they’ve become lazy about keeping up with the home, disinterested in family occasions or get togethers.  If these activities were things they previously loved to do, this could potentially indicate that their primary interests lie elsewhere.

(13) Friends avoid you

It’s true – you are often the last to know.  Mutual friends may have knowledge that your partner is cheating and therefor feel uncomfortable and anxious around you.  You might find friends avoid certain conversations, avoid you, or try too hard to be nice to you.  

(14) Forgetting things

Birthdays, anniversaries, family commitments, picking up the children from school …. Forgetting about these things might indicate your partner has other things on their mind that are taking priority.